Self Reflection

31

Dear Self,
I do not thank you enough for evolving into such a strong
person, mother, daughter and friend. I love you and I don’t
tell you enough. Most days I overlook how far you’ve come.
Keep sowing seeds of peace and continue to be the resilient
woman that I know you are.
Love you always and forever,
Self
— Alexandra Elle

When life just feels good.

31 years...31 years of development. 31 years of self discovery and still so much left to be uncovered. Here I am a few nights before my birthday, dreaming of who I once was, and pondering about what's to come. One thing is for certain, I am not what I once was, and I am yet to be what I am becoming. God has been working on me. I can feel his presence so candidly now. I remember my younger days, praying without a true purpose. Now today my prayers are more purposeful than ever. I am finally free. Free of unwanted feelings, free from chaos, freedom to pick and choose my battles, wisely enough to dictate my destiny. I am here, in this moment, with both doubt and fear but most importantly with understanding. Understanding that the unforeseen doesn't mean failure, but that 31 years has drove me to this exact point. And if this is any indication of where I am headed, I know I'm traveling down a road of hurdles that I am confident I will jump, and prepared to re-route. I am here......

Wow....look how far I've traveled. I've added a few passengers along the way. An amazing man who is co-pilot to this thing we call love. A man that I always knew was part of my script, but didn't know the words until his physical presence was brought to me. He took my hand and was determined to show me God's love in man form. He fueled my soul so much that it seeped over giving me 2 beautiful daughters. Proof again that I was capable of all that life has to give. See it wasn't until I had my first daughter that I realized that whatever I put my mind to, if spoken, it could be manifested. Because everyday, since the first day I became a mother, all the words out of my mouth sounded different. Nothing has been more freeing than raising my girls. Now my journey is filled with justification and pride.

To my younger self- Keep swimming. Life will feel confusing, and sometimes you may feel like you are going in circles. Just remember each time you travel back to the place you feel like you just left, you came back with new insight. That same insight will push you through that same loop again because God's intention isn't to change who you are, but to add to who you are growing into.

To my future self- Your impact has proven to be powerful. Your mission continues to remain close to your heart. Your mind, body and spirit continue to be aligned with your life's gift. And your purpose continues to be driven by your passion. The seeds you have planted now have roots of their own. Now sit back and be fulfilled. Allow the fruits of your labor be the fuel that will continue the journey you will have your children talking about when you are gone.

With that...

Happy Birthday to me! 31 years....  

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
— Howard Thurman