Birthday

Year of the Unicorn

Karter Turns 3!!

April 10th we meet again. This day 3 years ago I was anxiously awaiting your arrival. Prepared like no other because this wasn't my first rodeo, but nothing could have prepared me for you. Karter you are uniquely made and it is no coincidence that this has been the year of the unicorn, everything about you is magical. And although we have had our challenges, we always seem to end with rainbows. To see you grow is to watch God's imagination itself. Thank you for making me laugh with your silly faces, making me scared when you dare to be brave, and making me feel complete merely by your existence.

God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us - in the dreariest and most dreaded moments - can see a possibility of hope.
— Maya Angelou

I was pretty adamant that this year I wasn't going to spend a fortune celebrating Karter's birthday. I wanted it to be carefree and simple. I initially wanted to plan a small tea party at my home, but my now 3 year old who is very particular asked for a "unicorn" party.  So I chose a pretty awesome venue (totally free) at a local church in a nearby community. We ordered a few decorations from Amazon, a cake from Kroger, brought a few pizzas and celebrated in true unicorn style.

Is it me or does anyone just get excited to have an opportunity to hang out with friends and family?! This is always a highlight to anything I plan. I just love spending time with the people who mean most to us. These people are apart of my village. They carry Karter when I can't seem to carry myself. I want my children to know that the love they receive is far beyond what their parents can provide.

True Story: Karter hates being the center of attention. Weeks before her birthday, we would ask Karter about gift ideas, invites, and theme. She would act so unbothered and would literally walk away. Of course I thought this is my diva of a child. But as the day came near, she would almost be in tears when annoucing it was almost her birthday. So can you guess what happen when we sung the actual Happy Birthday song at the party, she had a full blown meltdown. Some would call it being 3, I like to call it being humble. A shopkins gift cleared all that up. Those tears were totally fake, lol

2013-2016 was baby making season!  Karter has so many kids growing up along side her. It's so cute watching her interact with her peers. I would sit back and just watch how she helped them climb, or shared her stickers. She would come to me throughout the party and ask "Where is Paris, Harper, Tara, Tony" etc. She's got a strong clique. Each displaying their little personalities,  sharing smiles and laughter. There is nothing more precious than childhood. 

All in all our hearts are so full. This little girl is growing, she is healthy, loved, and her tribe is conscious. We like to take the time out to thank everyone who took time to come out to celebrate near and far. To those who live long distance and still sent love. Those who purchased gifts, wrote encouraging words in cards, sent social media love, or just had us in your thoughts. It all means something to us. This is what keeps me going. Thank you.

Watch out! Preschool here she comes! Until next year!

Self Reflection

31

Dear Self,
I do not thank you enough for evolving into such a strong
person, mother, daughter and friend. I love you and I don’t
tell you enough. Most days I overlook how far you’ve come.
Keep sowing seeds of peace and continue to be the resilient
woman that I know you are.
Love you always and forever,
Self
— Alexandra Elle

When life just feels good.

31 years...31 years of development. 31 years of self discovery and still so much left to be uncovered. Here I am a few nights before my birthday, dreaming of who I once was, and pondering about what's to come. One thing is for certain, I am not what I once was, and I am yet to be what I am becoming. God has been working on me. I can feel his presence so candidly now. I remember my younger days, praying without a true purpose. Now today my prayers are more purposeful than ever. I am finally free. Free of unwanted feelings, free from chaos, freedom to pick and choose my battles, wisely enough to dictate my destiny. I am here, in this moment, with both doubt and fear but most importantly with understanding. Understanding that the unforeseen doesn't mean failure, but that 31 years has drove me to this exact point. And if this is any indication of where I am headed, I know I'm traveling down a road of hurdles that I am confident I will jump, and prepared to re-route. I am here......

Wow....look how far I've traveled. I've added a few passengers along the way. An amazing man who is co-pilot to this thing we call love. A man that I always knew was part of my script, but didn't know the words until his physical presence was brought to me. He took my hand and was determined to show me God's love in man form. He fueled my soul so much that it seeped over giving me 2 beautiful daughters. Proof again that I was capable of all that life has to give. See it wasn't until I had my first daughter that I realized that whatever I put my mind to, if spoken, it could be manifested. Because everyday, since the first day I became a mother, all the words out of my mouth sounded different. Nothing has been more freeing than raising my girls. Now my journey is filled with justification and pride.

To my younger self- Keep swimming. Life will feel confusing, and sometimes you may feel like you are going in circles. Just remember each time you travel back to the place you feel like you just left, you came back with new insight. That same insight will push you through that same loop again because God's intention isn't to change who you are, but to add to who you are growing into.

To my future self- Your impact has proven to be powerful. Your mission continues to remain close to your heart. Your mind, body and spirit continue to be aligned with your life's gift. And your purpose continues to be driven by your passion. The seeds you have planted now have roots of their own. Now sit back and be fulfilled. Allow the fruits of your labor be the fuel that will continue the journey you will have your children talking about when you are gone.

With that...

Happy Birthday to me! 31 years....  

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
— Howard Thurman

Motherhood...more than a title (Dedicated to Kennedy)

Because I am a mother of a 9 year old....

This year my oldest daughter, Kennedy, will be 9. I always take time on my daughter's birthday to reflect on my title as "mother". Of course this is a celebration on her maturing and transitioning to a new time in life. But I can't help but recognize how much I have grown along side her due to her birth directly. Before having Kennedy at age 22 life felt selfish. Selfish in a sense that every decision I made was because of my own personal interest. Not that it was bad, because at 22, life should be self directed in order to find self-discovery. I remember my days before having Kennedy, still young in my mind, but not able to comprehend how I would take care of a baby and still needing to be taken care of myself. She then appeared from my wound and suddenly I felt a shift in my heart that made the questions I had before her birth, all seem so easily explained. This little girl needs me, I am her rescuer. Suddenly the things I cared about most, if the formula couldn't include her, then they had to be let go. As soon as I stepped in the role of being Kennedy's mother, I didn't change my sense of self, I found a way for it to include her.

My daughter introduced me to myself.
— Unknown

Now here we are 9 years later. Kennedy is my best friend. She challenges me in ways that make me feel uncomfortable, she introduced me to me. It's crazy because I have never felt like I knew myself more than I know who I am today. Kennedy is the part of me that was left undiscovered. She has made me realize my strength, my fears, all while feeling a sense of accomplishment. Her spirit is so free, and her movements are so fluent. She has reservations about things that scare her, such as joining a new team, or challenging herself to take on a new task. She then will come to me for reassurance and guidance. Motherhood has had its toll on me, being responsible for making the smartest decisions that will impact how she transitions into adulthood. I don't always feel wise enough to parent her, or strong enough to hold her. But somehow I still do. This internal sense of pride that develops when we carry a seed of life in the belly. She is my very own reflection.

I don't always have it all together. I don't always say the right things. But she still loves me. She still looks at me the way I looked at my mother. She trusts that I will keep her safe and shield her from harm. I don't know if I will. I don't even know what it might look like. But the same fear I had at 22 is not the same fear I live with at 30. I know that my title of motherhood will call for things I have yet to bare. Kennedy you have gave me all the answers for the past 9 years of my life. You are my wisdom, you are my guide. I can never promise you the unforeseen, but I promise that we will find the answers together, like we always do. And for that you will never have to walk alone....

Karter Turns TWO!

Karter Alexandria Wells

Advice to my daughters....

Never allow the world to box you in. Be free in your mind, body, and spirit. Love those who may be deemed unlovable, and cherish all moments good and bad.

Karter, on this 2nd birthday, you have no concept of time. This exact day you will forget, as you will many moments in time. But one day you will come to me and say "Mom, how was I when I was younger?". I will share these moments with you...for your heart will remember the love surrounded by your village. And I will say "child it was perfect".

Thank you Firefly Play Cafe for your wonderful venue and service. More specifically, Andrea, who made everything look so easy.

Enjoy the birthday gallery....it was as much fun as it looks!